Dogs

I have 2 roommates. Each of my roommates own a dog. Neither of my roommates give a shit about one anothers dog and believes that their own dog is the 1) the best dog in the world and 2) would NEVER vomit, piss or create any mess of any sort in the house. As the 3rd roommate and owner of no dogs, I can tell you that both of their beliefs are totally wrong.

Both dogs are rather worthless. I've seen thousands of dogs that bring more to the table than both of their dogs combined. Unless you consider barking, drooling and shedding as positive things. And lets pretend they are: I've still see hundreds of dogs that do a better job at barking, drooling and shedding than these dumb bitches do.

Both dogs have vomited, pissed and dragged dirt shit all over this house. I've seen them both do it and I've cleaned both of their messes up. It's fucking nasty. And the worst part is that both owners of these worthless animals refuse to jump on the situation when their dog is the perpetrator of such crimes.

One time the vomit was on the carpet and owner of the dog that created said mess waited 2 days before doing anything about it. The fucking vomit just sat there. Another time one of the owners half cleaned the vomit (read: wiped it up, but didn't remove stain or all of the mess) and left the carpet crusty for a week. It wasn't until I said (read: screamed) about it was anything done.

Now I don't own these stupid creatures, so I don't feel it is my responsibility to do ANYTHING about the messes they make. I politely keep my beliefs to myself, I don't fret when I see a mess and I do everything in my power to avoid interacting with either dog in both a positive and negative manner. I test my will power every day by simply living in harmony with two chaotic animals.

This afternoon I came home from work and saw what was a half-assed attempt at cleaning up a very large pile of vomit. Doing my best to over look that (because it's not MY FUCKING DOGS MESS!!!!) and continue doing what I was doing I took a deep breath and stepped over it. After doing what ever it was that I was doing when I saw the vomit, I next moved to my computer to start doing some work that I didn't get done at work. That's when I saw the fresh puddle of piss on the floor. Wait, not just the floor, but the white carpet floor.

Have I told you recently that I hate my roommates dogs? I mean, I fucking HATE these animals. They do NOTHING. They create messes that I get to clean up. Sweeeeeeeeeeet.

The owner of the dog that pissed all over the carpet (and I'll bet vomited, as since it's been outside has been hacking up shit non stop...) has left the country for 3.5 weeks and left the fucking animal here. Christ, what have I done to deserve this punishment?

The long and short of this post is the following: I hate dogs. I hate lazy dog owners. And I really hate cleaning up after other dog owners dogs.