United States choked in the World Cup finals yesterday. Fortunately our goalie is still as beautiful after the lose as she was before it.
I was walking home from the city (read: NYC for you non east coasters) in the wee hours of July 5th when a police office pulled up next to my girl and I. He informs us that we're in no trouble but that he'd like to chat with us. After a few words he says "I just saw two normal people walking around at this hour and I thought you two might be lost." Apparently normal means the same thing on the east coast as it does on the west coast: Rich and white.
A little bit later another cop showed up and joined us in talking about how the area in which we inhabited was actually pretty not normal (read: not rich and not white) and that it's pretty common to see drug deals, homeless people, wasted people and not normal people. They told us that although the drug dealers in the area have people in all the buildings watch and calling around when police drive into the area, so do the cops. He then turns, looks at our 6 story building and says:
"I wish we could get access to your roof, you can see everything from up there."
To which I quickly respond:
"Yeah, but where will I do my elicit drugs?"
To which he even more quickly fired back:
"Its all good as long as you pass the dutch to the left."
After I stopped laughing my girl says to me "what does that mean". Well for those of you who are wondering the same thing, I think this guy below and the link after it will do an excellent job of explaining:
(Instructions on how to put the green stuff inside the Dutch here, because he's "seen enough bullshit and enough people asking how to roll a proper blunt".)
You look like the MOST mentally ill stoner/hipster on the face of godamn jupiter
ReplyDeleteMate, after seeing your face, i believe you DID pass that dutch to the Left, in which i partook a drag and got high as fuck.
Dude, what did u fill that shit with anyway? Hydro? I feel like it..your face says so.